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by Dennis Cole,
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Sexual identity concerns affecting parental relationship
Dear Dennis,

I met a young person recently who was having some difficulty discovering their sexual identity. This youngster approached one of their parents and was admonished and condemned for these "sinful thoughts." I know that this young person has looked at your web site, but is too shy to write their question here. My concern for this youngster is not their sexual preferences at all, but rather their relationship with their parent and the repercussions stemming from the already apparent self-loathing and lack of self-worth.
How should she handle this situation with her parents?
Namastae, J. D.

Dear J.D.,

Thanks for submitting this question, as it gives us an opportunity to shed some light on a widespread false premise. And that is about how we all get what we get in Life. Basically that premise or assumption is that things just "happen" to us. And that is simply not the case. Everything of significance that has ever "happened" in our lives has originated from within us – our free-will positive or negative choice of thoughts! We always attract what we think about most – whether we like it or not! Like attracts like!

The Dali Lama refers to this great Universal Law of Attraction: as follows: "When you think everything is someone else's fault, you will suffer. When you realize that everything springs from yourself. you will have both peace and joy."

This great Universal "Law of Attraction" works "24/7" whether we've heard of it or not! It works whether we believe in it or not! What makes it so hard to accept responsibility for our choice of thoughts is the widespread belief that we're not Eternal, and that we're separate from each other. Many also have this belief that when we attract "bad" things that we must be doing something wrong; that we are "bad" in some way. That is never the case, at least not under the "Spirit of the Law!" Why? Because we are eternally expanding Spiritual Beings having human experiences as unique Perspectives of All-That-Is. Without these so-called negative experiences in this leading edge, yin & yang, Creation there would be no growth and EternalExpansion. "Heaven" would be "over"!

We are here to ever create ourselves anew. And before each incarnation we- with our free will - have outlined the essence of our current life experiences, heredity, conditions, relationships, temperamental tendencies, joys, crises, and major Life turning points for continued soul-growth, while learning how to Joy our way to Joy!

So when someone like this young person is in a crisis with a parent, these "Siblings in Spirit" have actually been drawn into that experience in accordance with their own souls"game plans" for growth. And this "Manager in the Sky" or Law of Attraction is always seeing to it that cooperative components are orchestrated and assembled. "Like attracts like!" There are no victims. We always reap In accordance with how we choose to think. James Allen wrote:"There's no room for a complainer in a Universe of Law." That "Law" has been around Forever. You may have heard: "As ye sow, so shall ye reap."

We can heal when we come to realize that we are not "bad" or doing something "wrong" when we have these repeat-pattern crises and suffering experiences in Life. We're not here to be judged or "saved". We are loved, unconditionally from that "heaven within"! But we can’t receive Love, nor love another, if we don’t love ourselves! No! Instead we are "Good" as we learn to turn situations - which we've set up - into "stepping stones"- for wisdom, growth and Love. One simple technique for healing a relationship, which may seem to be falling apart, is to simply focus only on something you love about your relationship and/or about that person. Do this for about 3 weeks and without telling anyone. Then watch what happens! The Law of Attraction is always working!

Our conflicts and trials are a gift – a blessing in disguise! We "wrote" these experiences into our Souls "game plan" for this "time"around. Things will get better than "right Now", when right Now gets better. And how can anyone make right Now get better!? It's so simple that most people won't believe it! The holy Moment – the only Place we ever operate from – gets better as we simplychoose thoughts that feel better-and-better.
You might think: "Why would God allow suffering and death to 'happen' His 'Children' – His 'begotten sons and daughters?" The answer is, because It's All "God"and we are not our bodies. And contrast is the necessary "engine" of Creation's Expansion. We, in our diversity, are unique Perspectives of the One! We can't "get it wrong" in our co-Creative experiences because "IT IS" is never "over." And All-That-Is (God) is about Joy and Eternal Expansion. "Heaven" (Creation) is a Process and we're in it – Onward into Forever!
When this parent and child begin to realize that the "kingdom is within" and begin to put that "Inner Marriage" first – but without "attitude" – then they may begin to look for that spark of God within each other. They may choose to focus on things they love about the "others" in Life and to Love and Appreciate Self and others. In Oneness Consciousness there is no room for fear, worry, ego, control-respect issues, complaints or judgments .Unity Consciousness sets thestage for Unconditional Love, and there is no greater Power than the capacity to Love unconditionally!

In Oneness,


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