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by Dennis Cole,
Metaphysical and Life Management Consultant.


The Benefit of Being Self-ish
I have been happily married for decades. My husband likes plump women. Whenever I start to lose weight he is disappointed. How can I improve my self image without losing his love. M.K.

A. Dear M.K.
You mention your “self image” but seem to lose that when you try to model after your husband’s desired image. Maybe your husband does like “plump women” but I wonder how much he truly appreciates (another word for Love) a wife who is not being herSELF! We cannot truly receive love from others is we don’t love ourselves enough to listen to our hearts and be ourselves! Furthermore, we cannot love others if we do not love ourselves.

You might say, “Well, Dennis, we live in the ‘real world’ and have to get along with others in order to have harmony.” My suggestion, M.K., would be, that when you practice being who you really are, by listening to your Inner Guidance, which always takes the form of “Good feels good, and bad feels bad,” then the people and conditions around you will soon follow that good-feeling path. The only time this may seem not to work is when we be Self-ish, but we do so with fear or guilt - we tend to “drag others into the equation” of how we would love to feel and be. Then, we would be challenged, because of the “Law of Attraction,” which you’ve heard of as: “As ye sow, so shall ye reap.”

Your husband may have an addiction to “plump women,” and it’s difficult to get enough of something you don’t like in the first place. Addictions usually indicate an attempt to escape from a painful situation – real or imagined – which involves negative feelings. And like all “dis-eases,” addictions call for a release of resistance to change. A change to what feels better!

With unconditional Love your husband would not need you to behave or be a certain way in order for him to feel good. M.K., when you realize that “heaven is within you,” and when you feel good about this unique perspective of Source that you are, then the people who will be in your life will mirror that. Every one of us can have anything we desire. The key is to choose good feeling thoughts when we’re thinking about what we want.

In Oneness, Dennis


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