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Welcome to the inspirational and empowering
“Metaphysics of Love” website

by Dennis Cole,
Metaphysical and Life Management Consultant.


Natural Relating... Friends or Lovers?
Dear Dennis,
Dennis, you’ve mentioned that, ideally, a relationship should be
based on a “two-way, spontaneous affection.
” Does that hold true as well for friendships?

A. Well, in the real world, this is not always the case. For example some great friendships
have evolved from very difficult or negative initial encounters. Besides, true friendships usually
involve learning more about each other - the weak points as well as the good stuff.
And, if what they learn, about each other, over time, strikes a resonant chord, then this may help the friendship to evolve.

It is our nature to find things in common. We tend to like people when we
discover - “Hey - they’re just like me!” The affection in a relationship may not
be the same as the comfortable feeling of rapport in a friendship. The “spontaneous affection”
we speak of is associated with “chemistry” and physiological changes that can take place when
there’s, say, a good “Mars-to-Venus” connection. Whereas the energy of a friendship is more
Uranian or Aquarian - colored. In other words, more of an intellectual - social stimulus behind it.
Both a friendship and a romantic relationship can evolve into Unconditional Love.

Another thing to consider is that the good-feeling brain “chemistry” or “falling in love”
is not the same as Unconditional or true love. Spontaneous “falling in love” perhaps
is a biological necessity for our evolution, or getting our genes into the next generation.
And this mood-enhanced feeling may last a couple years (presumably, long enough to
keep the supportive male “hanging around the cave” long enough for the baby to become
ambulatory - so there’s a better chance for genetic survival.)

The basic answer to your question, as to having a friendship be based ideally on this mutual
“spontaneous affection,” is that it - by definition - would be a romantic relationship, rather than
only a friendship. Both levels of relationship can involve affection, but the friendship level does
not always have to be “two-way” and “spontaneous” in the beginning.

Now, can a romantic relationship morph into a friendship - without the chemistry - in time?
Of course! And can a friendship become a romantic, affectionate relationship? Of course,
and some of the best relationships are those in which the partners are best friends.
For those who were ready and drawn to a way of knowing, in advance, what might be
the most natural potential of their relationship, Synastry (the Astrology of compatibility potentials)
can be an amazing tool for revealing the “seed potentials,” or deeper meaning of their particular
relationship. And, for some, that may simply be to have a brief karmic encounter, holding an
opportunity for personal Spiritual growth, and then to move on.
Regardless of the type of relationship, Khalil Gibran’s words can be beneficial:
“In your togetherness let there be spaces and let the winds of heaven dance between you.”

Relationships will take their natural course as we learn to follow our hearts,
be our true Selves and allow others to do the same.

In Oneness,


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